History of Carl part 1

Carl. A name that sends shivers down the spines of all those who have felt His power. Carl. In the days of the Babylonians Carl was there. In this particular time period he was known as Taka-Reet, or The Bringer of Endings. In this period the Babylonians would bring forth to Taka-Reet their elderly and dying for Him to take into the afterlife. From what I have gathered in both internet research and lengthy discussions with Carl, He was actually taking them to a place where they could live out their remaining days playing shuffleboard and drinking Pina Coladas. Today this place is known as Florida. Carl is a wise and benevolent God. All hail Carl and His infinite wisdom. What follows is a wall relief of the ancient Babylonians trying to present Taka-Reet with a gift.



This spindle displeased Taka-Reet greatly, as He does not do His own sewing and no one should ever infer otherwise. This was the last time any culture ever made such a mistake, as Carl promptly destroyed their entire civilization in a hail of fiery toads. Do not make Carl angry, for Carl is a temperamental God.

As more of He who is called Carl is revealed in my search for knowledge I will impart it on all of you. The loyal followers of Carl.

- R